Friday, October 24, 2008

my(wanna be) Shakespearean answering machine

well aware am I of the good intent of your call
however I must needs miss this opportunity for conversation, with which you where set on having
nay, 'twas not meant to be, that we should engage in most prodigious, most lovely of all pass-times
was not meet with the plan our heavenly father inscribed on His holy tablet before the beginning of the world.
But I tell you truly, as Alexander Stevens Goldman, fourth possessor of that name In blessed godly lineage, that do you leave name, number and any other information constructive to the purpos of thine call, I shall do my best to return it and make quarry as to your intentions.
But until then... Fair thee well!

"beep!...If you would like to page this person, press 5 now, at the tone(in the comment section) please record your message.



  1. Okay... so I was calling about a very important issue!!! But I was delayed and forgot what to say because of your "very long" answering machine!


    I love it Alex!! (especially the message your dad left... haha:D)


  2. You do a might fine job on it Alex but I agree with Destiny in the fact that it did take a while to get through to leave a message. You are very creative. Love, Grandma Dot

  3. Ring..Ring....Now that was clever!!!

  4. Hey Bud,
    Here's the response I left for you on your phone:

    My dear primogeniture and most cherished blessing of conjugal ties.

    Methinks it meet to salute thee for thy sagacious and admirably articulated oratory, which prudence compels me to concede that such commendable, such colloquial utterances, I estimate, have never before been vocalized in the delivery of a cell phone greeting. Nay, in no wise has any such linguistic declaration ever charmed my senses more, or caused me to muse so intently upon the laudable qualities of one so dear to my soul. Bravo, and fitly spoken my son!

    I trust that my affections to engage in eloquent discourse with thee are reciprocated with fondness, and sincerity. Therefore, I beseech thee my beloved son, upon thine earliest convenience, and without undue stress or difficulty to thyself of course, to call upon thine aged, yet noble sire, that I may divulge the purpose of my summons, and expound to thee that which weighs upon my thoughts and earnestly inclines me to seek thy humble and cultivated sentiments. Until circumstances are amenable and time shall precipitate our cherished conversation that we may speak our minds freely to one another, I remain, thy affection father, Alexander Stevens Goldman, the third possessor of that name.

    Godspeed my son.